In memory of my Dad. Today was his birthday.
A guy with a speech impediment walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a beer?"
"Three dollars."
"Three dollars? That's alot of money! Oh- I'll take one," muttered the man as he quickly drank it down. "How much for a glass of wine?"
"Eight dollars," the bartender replied.
"Eight dollars! That's a lot of money. Oh well, I'll take one." He drank it down as he turned to leave said, "Thanks for not mentioning my speech impediment."
And the bartender said, "Thanks for not mentioning my hunchback."
"Hunchback? I thought it was your butt! Everything else is so high in here!"
I miss him and his jokes.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
The Wisdom of a 5 yr Old
The other day I came into the kitchen to find yet another mess for me to clean. It had been a long day already and it was only 10:30. As I began cleaning it, I also began to grumble and then I heard Anne give a long sigh and say, "It's all part of having kids, Mom."
Saturday, July 25, 2009
#36
I know I'm getting older. I stopped dying my hair more than a year ago and just recently admitted that I have a grey hair. Okay, a few. I dance in the kitchen and I'm a half a beat off, but my bum comes in on the next one. My laziness in not putting lotion on everyday is finally resulting in wrinkly skin in the sunlight. And two age spots have appeared on my face.
But there are good things about turning 36 too- We went out to lunch for my birthday and our skinny, skinny waitress asked if I would like a half or whole order of my salad. I said "half" and asked her if it's still a decent size portion. Her reply was, "Oh yeah, you're gonna need a box for that one."
When my WHOLE order came, I was confused. But Matt informed me that I ordered a whole. (It was my birthday, I was thinking of lots of things, like Holy Bibles and gaping holes of the universe, you know deep stuff.) So I started to eat my WHOLE delicious pecan chicken salad. And it was delicious. Miss "Skinny Skinny" came by and said, "Oh good, that's disappearing rapidly!" I didn't even blink. Even though I knew by this time, I really would finish the WHOLE thing. No box needed. Don't even bother looking. Squeaky clean. And I was right. And I really didn't care. In fact, I was satisfied and proud that Skinny Skinny could see that I ate like a hungry hippo until ALL the marbles were gone. On a scale of 1-10 of self-conscienceness, I gave myself a 1- just because I happened to notice Skinny Skinny was saying all the wrong things to the right customer.
Happy Birthday to me!
Why didn't anyone tell me I had eyebrow hairs growing on my temples??
But there are good things about turning 36 too- We went out to lunch for my birthday and our skinny, skinny waitress asked if I would like a half or whole order of my salad. I said "half" and asked her if it's still a decent size portion. Her reply was, "Oh yeah, you're gonna need a box for that one."
When my WHOLE order came, I was confused. But Matt informed me that I ordered a whole. (It was my birthday, I was thinking of lots of things, like Holy Bibles and gaping holes of the universe, you know deep stuff.) So I started to eat my WHOLE delicious pecan chicken salad. And it was delicious. Miss "Skinny Skinny" came by and said, "Oh good, that's disappearing rapidly!" I didn't even blink. Even though I knew by this time, I really would finish the WHOLE thing. No box needed. Don't even bother looking. Squeaky clean. And I was right. And I really didn't care. In fact, I was satisfied and proud that Skinny Skinny could see that I ate like a hungry hippo until ALL the marbles were gone. On a scale of 1-10 of self-conscienceness, I gave myself a 1- just because I happened to notice Skinny Skinny was saying all the wrong things to the right customer.
Happy Birthday to me!
Why didn't anyone tell me I had eyebrow hairs growing on my temples??
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